You Don't Get What You Don't Ask For

There are so many great opportunities that have come into my life because I had the courage to speak up and ask for what I wanted. The fear of failure or rejection can be crippling, and it can prevent you from reaching your goals simply because you did not use your voice.

My closest friends will describe me as “bold”, “driven”, and a “doer”. I am both surprised by their choice of words, but also impressed by their accuracy. However, these qualities can be attributed to my fiery belief that “you don’t get what you don’t ask for”. This motto of mine has different meanings but holds one strong fact: if you do not extend the ask, there is no way for anyone to know what your intentions are.

There is no reason to be ashamed or afraid to ask for what you want. The worst that could happen is receiving “no” as an answer. At least extending the ask will confirm what you were afraid of hearing prior to even asking – it is far better knowing a definitive answer than mulling in regret and wonder. By asking, you open the door to opportunity and possibility. Recognizing that your goals are worth the chance will make it easier to form the ask. Even if you do not get the answer you were looking for, a different opportunity may arise. It is unrealistic to expect for others to be able to interpret your actions and intentions without voicing them.

Despite what criteria, rules, and outlines may state, the answer is never no until you ask. If you truly believe in your cause, then that in itself is enough reason to devote any time towards making your dream/goal/fantasy a reality. If you struggle with not wanting to burden or inconvenience someone else – consider why you feel that way. If someone does not have the time for you, they will tell you. If someone has offered to help you in the past, take them up on their offer. Again, if they did not mean it, they will tell you. I do not consider rejection to be failure, I view it as an opportunity to learn and find another way.

It is always easier said than done. Growing up, my father’s equivalent of this saying was “open your mouth”. He encouraged me to speak up even if it made me uncomfortable, and years later I now appreciate what he tried to tell me so often. It is through experience that I have learned to extend the ask, and has paid off in both my personal and professional life.

Here are three examples of how asking, despite the odds, has created incredible opportunities for me. Had I not reached out, I would have missed out.

1. I successfully transferred a SCIENCE-based renewable scholarship valued at $16,000 towards the Bachelor of Commerce Program.

Upon graduating high school, I earned a renewable scholarship at Dalhousie University that was program specific to a Sciences degree. After a year of studying Science, I was certain I was in the wrong place. Despite knowing this, I still considered staying in the program because based on the written criteria, because otherwise I would no longer be eligible for the renewable scholarship I had worked so hard to earn and maintain.

If you can support your ask, then you should not hesitate to go forward with it. I had maintained all the covenants of the scholarship with the exception of the science criteria and asked if the scholarship donors would make an exception based on the circumstances. If I had not asked and explained my reasoning, then I would have lost $12,000 towards funding my education.

2. I accidentally missed the deadline to unsubscribe for LinkedIn Premium, and received a refund DESPITE their strict policy.

Last year I thought it would be a good idea to take advantage of a one-month trial LinkedIn Premium subscription. It was a great deal, as long as I cancelled one day before the end date, then I would not be charged. Of course, a month had passed, and I had forgotten about the subscription until checking my credit card transactions and discovering a charge for $311.18.

In a panicked frenzy I looked at LinkedIn’s policy, and there amongst the Terms & Conditions that I agreed to, I saw “the subscription would auto-renew unless you terminate it at least 2-3 days before the next billing starts”. Even though I was at fault and did not unsubscribe with enough notice – I sent an email asking if there was something that could be done.

Two days later my request was processed, and I was no longer short $311.18!

3. Finally, my biggest ask that has gained me the most in my professional career was reaching out to a recruiter to see if any spots had opened up and was able to gain a full-time job upon graduating.

As stated earlier, it is not as easy as it sounds. I would not have received an offer had I not built relationships via networking, maintained contact throughout the recruiting process, AND applied to the position via a different office. HOWEVER, the recruiter would not have known I was still interested if I had not emailed her and asked, “I am still interested in working for your firm and was wondering if there were any positions available at your office?”.

Coincidentally, the day I sent the email was also the cut-off date for their current offers which the recruiter informed me of. Later that afternoon, she contacted me to tell me a spot has indeed opened up, and because I had completed the application process I was eligible for the position and was extended the job offer.

Had I not asked, I would not have received the offer even though I was both qualified and available. By communicating and extending the ask, I was able to gain a dream job upon graduation.

What have YOU been too afraid to ask for?

About the writer: Rosalyn Huynh is a fourth-year Commerce student at Dalhousie University, majoring in Accounting and minoring in Psychology. She is the President of the Rowe Women in Business Association where she leads a team of eight executive members, two marketing managers, and 59 general members. Rosalyn will be joining PwC in Halifax as an Assurance Associate beginning September 2019.